Then

update

2009-01-25T15:15:00.000-08:00

NEW PHOTOBLOG: Phlogi.com <----- I post photos i find online.

new project site: watchussleep.com <-----shani and i streaming our sleep live every night.

new updated homepage/portfolio: benjaminlotan.com <----this is what i have been working on... not done yet, and does not work in internet explorer, but give me feedback...

update

2008-12-24T11:14:00.000-08:00

Just made a twitter account. so you can follow my moves there if you wish:

http://twitter.com/benjaminlotan

still posting with friends xandre and taymoor on eggpoop.blogspot.com but now building a new personal site to be published before the end of the year. Probably will start some new blogs. (an image blog, and a screenshot blog.. etc)

also streaming my dreams, as i become aware of them... not sure how this will work out yet, but planning on sleeping in front of my webcam as often as possible. you can check out my ustream.tv channel at ustream.tv/channel/watchmedream
i'll figure everything out soon enough.

ben

the Captured meMe on Channel 6 News

2008-10-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

they captured me on a machine, and broadcast my words and images...

see blog post and News clip here

or go strait to the news clip

EggPoop

2008-09-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

I Have been Posting On EGGPOOP.BLOGSPOT.COM so go there and read.
Its a blog for all of us in san diego.

2008-09-10T13:49:00.001-07:00

30,000 Photo project.

2008-09-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

I have just over 30,000 digital photos on my hard drive from the past 7 years or so. I just recognized this today and started to think about how i could use all of them to create something. One idea is to load them all into Final Cut and Use as single film frames. I did some initial tests, and there is something nice that emerges. While you cannot see each photo alone, you see sessions. when i photograph i will sometimes take many photos of a single scene. so when they are all flying by quickly, you can make out some of the scenes quite well. I will post some film footage soon. These stills are from a trial in which i had 4 separate streams of images to cut down on the length.

Photocombines

2008-09-02T01:02:00.000-07:00

write a program that will grab random photos from my complete library, and do simple combinations, such as half half. Use for further ideas/inspiration. force to make connections... associate.

Guitar effects=video effects

2008-09-02T00:59:00.000-07:00

an early sketch of something that could be expanded and worked out more thoroughly in the future.

Suicide. TorryPines

2008-09-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

Last night i went for a walk to Torry Pines Glider port area. When i got there. there were many trucks. Someone had driven their car off the cliff. commotion. the difference between those that off themselves in such dramatic fashion and those who without a trace. The effort to get his car up from the beach.... I took a bunch of footage, of the trucks mostly. It was very dark but i think i can put something together. These are film stills.

Erdnaxela roll

2008-09-02T00:57:00.000-07:00

i do golf

2008-09-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

videos

2008-09-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

SLOW BOTTLE:

HEAD:

THE KISS:

I posted a bunch more new videos. Instead of embedding them all here, i will just post this link:

VIDEOS

it will take you to my youtube videos in order of most recently posted. the first 12 or so are pretty new.

family

2008-09-01T00:23:00.001-07:00

thisismyfamily

me

2008-09-01T00:20:00.000-07:00

one of the first pictures i posted of myself on facebook. I was struck by how much younger i look... first time i looked at a picture of myself from college and really recognized the aging process...

new perspectives

2008-09-01T00:12:00.001-07:00

Set up multiple cameras and filmed, these are screenshots. but i sort of like them more as photographs. Idea to use multiple cams, and sync the shutters to get multiple angles, then think of some good way to show them all together. (grid?)

film stills from current tendancy to make

2008-08-29T23:00:00.001-07:00

Video Photography

2008-08-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm always chasing this idea of converting a segment of video into a single photo frame.

Here i have combined 1 frame per second of a 60 second video of friend brian standing perfectly still.

desk

2008-08-16T23:55:00.000-07:00

whenever i remember i like to take snapshots of my desk, or workspace.

2008-08-15T14:28:00.001-07:00

2008-08-15T12:43:00.001-07:00

2008-07-13T14:37:00.001-07:00

Photosi

2008-06-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

Training North from San Diego, i took hundreds of pictures the whole way, thinking about compiling them in a grid and printing them poster size as a sequence documenting the changing landscape. This journey will be completed each season, or perhaps each year for the next few decades.

Here is a small sample of images:

also started messing around with different kinds of pixilation algorithms.

books

2008-06-12T11:31:00.000-07:00

Loop Etching

2008-06-11T17:31:00.001-07:00

journal

2008-06-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

This is 64 pages of journal entries from my first month on exchange at dartmouth. I have condensed it down to one page. Each line is an individual paragraph.

Preview

2008-06-11T17:01:00.001-07:00

2008-06-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

dirt

2008-06-11T16:47:00.001-07:00

Scanner Portraits

2008-06-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

using a scanner as a camera.

1-Pixel Portraits

2008-06-11T14:34:00.000-07:00

I took a one pixel vertical sliver of my face in this picture, and stretched it out to make a new kind of portrait. (i got this idea from the artist tom friedman... he's good.)

Underpassage

2008-06-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

Every Underpass on the 101, 405, and 5 freeways, driving through LA and Orange Counties to San Diego.

Project Greenlite in the press

2008-06-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

This is a project I worked on at dartmouth last quarter (i am in video):

Press Video

2008-05-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

//@

2008-05-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

you might not wake up tomorrow.
but you'll never wake up.

green key etc

2008-05-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

this weekend there is a party everywhere. but doesn't that only mean more of the same patterns? moving around, that wholesome activity between drinks, dirty smiles and laughter. That walking, hoping you will see something. hoping something will happen. That you will see someone.

now it's not just about the basement and a couple of larger rooms, it's a few houses and a block. you can move in between these new expanded spaces, but its just the same.

What is it like here?
It's small, and there is something missing. and you, you would rather just stay in some other place. you would rather just deal with your own shit, and not be here.

and when you walk into the gallery and you see the cream of the crop of student artwork. coming from these people who sink such cash into their own lives, investing in networks, and hoping they can learn and it all pays off,
your perspective is one that is upsetting, and you don't care, and are upset in a way. because somehow all this shit discounts your shit, and what you would do, and what you want to do. somehow. and you are upset. "does that make sense?" you ask yourself.

You lost faith because you saw them all as competitors, and you weren't nervous. you were agitated, and bothered and put off. that their work is out there in opposition to your own. it cuts, it grates the public and puts them in a place of antitrust and ignorance. It is blinding, as all those who tag and write their names across spaces. that although they believe in themselves and their right. and their power, and their ability, and their prowess, they again, only see that single bit.

meaning as a reflection of being here, this whole time, you try to understand. Walking in this night, alone.
you are scared of that supremacy that comes with recognition of problems. and you are upset because your being good, makes there bad, and that is not good.

hello los angelos, we're looking at a whole lot of heat.

text.

2008-05-17T21:45:00.000-07:00

hands

2008-05-17T01:45:00.000-07:00

fingers (in two parts)

2008-05-17T01:19:00.000-07:00

Fast arms

2008-05-11T13:17:00.002-07:00

Shoulders

2008-05-11T13:17:00.001-07:00

Smooshy Face

2008-05-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

Slow Arms

2008-05-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

Layers

2008-05-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

Layering techniques in photoshop... could come in handy for things in the future.

bad

2008-05-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

Same sign over and over... unnecessary, disgusting, etc.

The Ister

2008-05-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Those loops

2008-05-05T20:13:00.000-07:00

North Carolina State Park

2008-05-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Airport

2008-05-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

On the wall

2008-05-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

I made this by attaching pens to a drill in place of the normal bits. Will make more.

our lady

2008-04-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

I painted this for a friend's theater production. perhaps more pictures of the final set to come within the weeks...

Me?

2008-04-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

Some friends got tatoos that say "this is not me"

I agree

2008-04-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

I got this from John Maeda's blog. And i have to say, i agree...

2000 paces

2008-04-29T19:07:00.000-07:00

This is a print I made. I attached a glazed cardboard plate to my barefoot, and walked from hanover to vermont. Then i inked up the plate, and ran it through a printing press. The result has gotten good reactions, and i like it, but the concept is still a work in progress. i would like to do some sort of political activity, or cross some boundaries, and then show this as the evidence of sorts.

Process

2008-04-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

any book that was written before 2002 is old. (which is not to say irrelevant)

there is no time for things anymore. things slow us down.

i am trying to figure out new ways of setting up systems to be continually updated. because if you make something, you will want it to change so soon. upon writing a book, there is continuous editing to be done. upon publishing we are aware of how stale it is.
the idea of completion is bad, halfhearted and rotten.
we are getting to a point where it is not important to make things... there is no time to put things together.
it is the process that is meaningful.

we need ways of capturing the process, so that what we learn can be accessed by others, without us having to sit down and spoon feed it to them. this means we need not write for an audience. only for ourselves, but in such a way that the audience can get it.

and in such a way that by seeing our most recent output, they get it, and everything before it.

does that make sense?

Machine

2008-04-25T21:54:00.000-07:00

I bought a little electric motor and attached some different mark-making utensils to the end, I like these little ring wormy things i got.

The idea here is to construct a machine that would draw patterns depending on input from some other source. Perhaps the energy use of a household fed through a microprocessor, or i could construct some analog sensor... opening a door could trigger the motor due to the physical force, something like that... more to come.

physics midterm

2008-04-25T04:29:00.000-07:00

Path

2008-04-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

this was made 2 months ago, a much better version is posted here. (but that may take a while to load)

pipes

2008-04-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

a good tree

2008-03-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

New Hampshire Driveby

2008-03-24T14:08:00.001-07:00

Cigarette Butts

2008-03-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

I noticed an enormous amount of Cigarette Butts outside one of the dining halls on campus. It struck me as a site of specialized trash, which could be transformed into some sort of participatory public art project. If i can create some sort of receptacle which invites people to trash their butts in such a way that something beautiful is created, that would be good.

Day 1

2008-03-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

I fly through the night and i am next to a woman, and on the plane she is a stranger, and i kiss her mouth, i really do. and we touch hands, and she leans into me, and we touch heads. She draws and writes lyrics for me on my paper when i am asleep. and i like her, and i like that love, and any moment could be. and it's not necessary to ever say goodbye or see her again, and she doesn't and i don't.

I land on the ground outside of boston. i am picked up and in a car, and we drive through under the sun. And we stop, and we are at a dinner, and then they, tell me funny things. They tell me about this place, and we eat omelets. And there is chemical american cheese on top, and i hate it, but they say it's good. and they eat it, and they like it. and i dont eat ham so usually.

and when i get onto campus there is a disappointment and it hurts. but only a little. and i walk around and think. and i think that this is not necessarily what i was thinking it would be. this is not my home or place. this is not where i was supposed to end up. this is more of the same, but worse.
and i wonder how i will engage, or be engaged. and i wonder what sort of people i will fuck, and be fucked by. and i want to touch myself because i have not had that physical shit for days.
and i know i am dirty, and its good, because i can go back to my dirty dirty living space, and i can lay down and surround myself with those cultish dead bastards pasted by someone else, on what are now my walls.
And here i am, curled up and breathing this bone-dry air, in the cold of an empty dorm, and i am trying to close my eyes.

that one was left behind

2008-03-20T11:12:00.000-07:00

Living Spaces

2008-03-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

The project: photograph/scan/create maps or representations of living spaces, comparative studies on shapes/organization.

For Sale

2008-03-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

It might be worth doing a photo exploration of "things for sale".... I got this idea in a tropical fish store when looking at a display of coral for sale.

drawing

2008-03-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

hadn't done any drawings for a while, this is what came out of me this weekend with markers etc...

Seen in Vegas

2008-03-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

on the side of a shuttle.

Scooter Bastards

2008-03-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

At Balboa park this past weekend I was dismayed to see a group of four scooters with mini trailers en-tow each showcasing the same Beer Ad. These are moving billboards, subjecting us not only to more obtrusive advertising in public places, but also increasing traffic and pollution.
If you see these guys riding around, be sure to give them the finger.
of course they are wearing masks though, to hide their shame...

new combines

2008-03-10T21:25:00.000-07:00

Parking Lot Patterns

2008-03-04T22:13:00.000-08:00

Looking at Las Vegas from overhead, it became clear that parking lots may actually have something good to offer.

heres looking at you

2008-03-04T21:54:00.001-08:00

a t-shirt update.

Dartmouth

2008-03-04T21:36:00.000-08:00

I'll be going to Dartmouth College on an exchange program for the spring. This is part of my housing application:

Freeway Driveby

2008-03-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

Land

2008-03-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

The mountain has been cut away to build a costco. I ask, is this correct?
such a feat of comes not without a cost.

2008-03-04T20:59:00.000-08:00

Body

2008-03-04T20:52:00.000-08:00

This is a combination of four photos, one from each side of the belly. I spliced them together as if the skin had been incised down the middle of the back and stretched flat. I want to do this soon with an entire body. sure to be good.

Mounds

2008-03-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

ARMY

2008-03-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

There were army recruiters on campus last week. They had a huge semi-truck trailer thing you could go inside. Inside were Virtual reality simulators, one of which allowed you to strap into a full-body harness, don a head-mounted display, and try to parachute onto a aircraft carrier. Another was a two person simulation in which you climb into a hummer and one person shoots while the other drives. I found this sort of wild and disturbing, especially in the light of a recent talk I attended concerning the expressive power of video games.

This image is from one of the stations inside the ARMY trailer. It allowed you to make sample leaflets to be dropped by the thousands over "enemy" populations. The goal of the Psychological Operations Unit of the army is to create and spread propaganda to "peacefully" brainwash masses to do whatever is in our countries best interest. I'm sure that these "surrender now" messages are only the tip... who knows what other misinformation we feed to people.

working with myself

2008-02-25T22:07:00.000-08:00

Invasion

2008-02-24T21:42:00.000-08:00

These "Emergency" towers have invaded campus.
They have a camera on top and a loudspeaker.
They are in all the main areas and pathways.
It's bad.
Surveillance instills the constant awareness of being watched.
It keeps us in line to an unhealthy extent.
(plus no one gets raped on the UCSD campus, i looked it up)

my notebook

2008-02-24T19:08:00.001-08:00

Nude Forms

2008-02-24T18:41:00.001-08:00

T-shirt

2008-02-24T18:30:00.001-08:00

I had this t-shirt printed. It's a photo of me naked. I have been wearing it everywhere for the past week. Responses have been fantastic!

No Smoking

2008-02-24T18:18:00.000-08:00

I was over at the salk institute, nearby campus and i noticed this space. A nice shady place to sit away from the main buildings. I was struck by the no smoking sign, which was a major detractor from the ambiance, probably more of a detractor than an occasional smoker.
Somehow this particular sort of invasion seems very representative of our time. The invasion of spaces, not only through the restrictions themselves, but also in the way they are expressed.

Research Proposal

2008-02-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

I applied for a grant to do research this summer at Calit2 (California institute of telecommunication and information technology). I want to look at immersive virtual environments in terms of the kinds of self and social awareness they can facilitate. You can read my proposal here

Vegas

2008-02-19T01:10:00.000-08:00

In vegas for a weekend wedding, here are some pics i took.

Roadside

2008-02-19T01:09:00.000-08:00

Engaging?

Photos

2008-02-19T01:03:00.000-08:00

i collect these photos from swap meets and thrift stores. recently i have been scanning a few of them so i can do something with them digitally, and so they may last a bit longer.

Bad Commercials

2008-02-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

(this was part of a correspondence with a group of friends in response to a link posted to an IBM commercial with the slogan: "stop thinking, start doing" see links below to watch the commercials)

In so many ways that series of IBM commercials can be seen as a monolithic tribute to normality.

the way these things effect us is profound, and potentially dangerous. These commercials will further the stagnant thinking we are so used to it. Their exaggeration transforms the radical into the outlandish maniac freak-nut bastards.

This is a continuing frustration of mine, the way that the radical is misunderstood. We can call for change and action, we can protest and rebel without losing our cool collection organization knowledge and skill.

and we must, because we are the genius of today.

and though we have no responsibilities, nothing matters and its all very good and bad, its a lot more fun good true and inspirational than the alternatives which culture has offered us.

be that freak-nut bastard, but keep your wits up and show those hard nosed pits what you stand for, and why.

allSidesIn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdtlZIjdUJk&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOG_GHNVq0

filming

2008-02-11T12:42:00.000-08:00

I am working on a film piece revolving around paths.
heres a preview:

Calculus

2008-02-11T12:14:00.000-08:00

I guess this is something happening in my life...
This is a one hour study session, sped up to minute and a half.

An Ephemeral Gesture

2008-02-10T18:56:00.000-08:00

Constructing a shopping cart blockade

living

2008-02-09T12:19:00.000-08:00

europe is bad. sweden is not the best country in the world, and i am a
bastard for seeing it that way. the netherlands suck.
you swine in
your luxury of passiveness.
I live at the cusp of abnormality, i am 20 minutes away from the most
active border in the world. its a hotbed. the exchanges going on here
are deeply humanic, deeply philosophical, and i am trying to find my
place among all this.

there is cognitive science which i look at as the base.
there is post modernism, which pushes the absurd towards me, and
reminds me how subjective this whole reality is.
and then there are
houses being given away here as trash, and the city of Tijuana builds
themselves with our used garage doors.

drop it, find a new way.
do something better.
these are my thoughts, when i self reflect.

yet i make these works of art which call attention to the problems,
i;m trying to force awareness as i lay on the ground its watching me, and its important, but why does
no one react.
lets get this guy out of here. hes lost his mind.
hes losing his mind. and we cannot have that.

i told people i was going to kill myself and the government came to my
"aid"

america, world, we are pathetic. but its so logical.
yet it's hidden.
and it has itself making its own self reflective propaganda. and it
convinces its people they are liberated and good.
the problem is
that we are empowered to act. and we try to act well, but no one
understands a damn thing.

i;m trying to find the relationship between the bastards and just the
way it is.

i guess i;ll become the man.

i still feel like i will see you tomorrow in class.

will you be there?

a link

2008-02-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

i took this picture to print on my nude t-shirt, then just having this photo of me nude was sort of strange inspiring, and liberating.

Click Here for me Me me...

Return

2008-01-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

Its been a while, but i'm beginning again. I took some time off from this space when i was in sweden. I was posting at scandinavianlosers.blogspot.com

I have returned to California for school, and things are going fast.

2007-12-20T12:38:00.000-08:00

you are pathetic.
you are just the same as them all.
telling stories. and playing cheap tricks for your allies.

being those who share your perspective.
who are part of it.
who create it.

and how you all learn to dress the same.
and become one another.

in ways we give up and lose.
why have i not seen the same things in all those bastards.
you closeminded fool, and asshole.,.
they are all the same.
FBI agent, with time and rescources to get the same.
that high level crack crime scheeming big job.
that really good one.
working for that very good company.
yes that will be it.
that will be your good job.
and your good life.

that and the ones you love.
and you cheat with them.

i need to kill my mind.

because to spread my own memes would be to be everyone.

you can only become other things through, maybe death.

Careful

2007-09-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

Say This Aloud

2007-09-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

"I was about to start to say it"

"I was about to start to say it"

"I was about to start to say it"

2007-09-21T05:16:00.000-07:00

Sweden

2007-09-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Like riding a bike into the trees to escape the wind.